By SGN | Updated 26 Aug 2026
Melissa learned the meaning of giving from her father.
“He may not have been the wealthiest person in the room, but he was always the most generous,” she says. When relatives or friends asked for help, he offered what he could.
“And he would never ask for anything back.”
Many of these stories emerged only after his death. “My dad’s friends would often tell me how they appreciated his authenticity. And at his funeral, people that we hadn’t seen in 20 years came to pay their respects,” she recalls. “And they told me about how generous he was, what an amazing friend he was, how he helped them.”
Today, Melissa works in philanthropy, a field that she finds impactful and fulfilling. She sees her role, of addressing the interests of those with the means to give, to be the highest form of sales. It’s an area that she fell into unexpectedly, however, after decades of pursuing an entirely different passion.
From Singapore to New York
As a stage actor in her youth, Melissa performed in Singapore and at arts festivals in Australia, Denmark and Poland. “Getting to work with stellar people in the Singapore arts scene was really gratifying for me,” she says. But making a steady living was hard. “I was constantly auditioning, not knowing where I’d land next,” she recalls.
As she taught more to supplement her income, Melissa naturally became an arts educator and researcher. In 2005, she moved to New York City to do a master’s at New York University, followed by a PhD at the CUNY Graduate Center.
It was also in the city that she met her French husband and settled down. While his work was based in the city, her opportunities to become a tenure-track professor were found mostly in rural or surbuban parts of the country, so she knew staying in academia in New York was next to impossible. “That’s when I pivoted to fundraising,” she explains.
Leading with relationships
At the Museum of Chinese in America, Melissa started out in institutional giving, since she was well versed in the art of writing grant applications. “I really loved talking to people and making that personal connection,” she says. “I’m not afraid to put myself out there and I love asking for money – not for myself but for something that I really believe in.”
Many skills she acquired in the arts, like persuasion and relationship-building, turned out to be transferable. “Nobody wakes up one day in college and decides, ‘I’m going to become a fundraiser.’ Most fundraisers fall organically into it. And a lot of them are people from the arts,” she laughs.
In fundraising, authenticity is paramount. As Melissa puts it, “Always lead with the relationship, and not the money.” Once, at an event, she spoke to a banker about his appreciation for the arts. After bumping into him a few months later, he connected her with a senior executive at the bank, which led to a six-figure donation. “I wasn’t looking at him as a donor. I was looking at him as someone interested in the mission.”
In 2022, Melissa joined the Guttmacher Institute, a think tank that advocates for reproductive health and was formerly the research arm of Planned Parenthood. As director of individual giving, she builds relationships with high-net-worth individuals. “I always tell donors that they are funding the foundation of the sector. Providers of reproductive healthcare to millions of women and girls depend on our data to advocate for good policy and investments in that care,” she says.
Beyond her day job, Melissa stays involved with the arts through the Asian Women Giving Circle, which primarily funds Asian American female artists. She recently completed her term as a board member at Women in Development, New York, a network for women in fundraising. “This network has been so generous to me,” she says. “They’ve opened the door to job opportunities and helped me navigate my first salary negotiation as a fundraiser.”
Battle of the cultures
Melissa lives in Brooklyn with husband and two daughters. “When I had kids, my cultural identity as a diasporic Chinese person became even more important to me,” she shares. “I felt even more connected to Singapore.”
She believes that passing down their respective cultures will enrich the children’s lives. Being in New York, it’s thankfully easy to find schools where they can learn Mandarin and French – though there is one language that has fallen through the cracks. “I’m from a Cantonese-speaking family,” Melissa says. “That’s gone. They don’t speak it. So I’m a bit sad about that.”
Melissa and her husband are playfully competitive about whether their daughters speak better French or Mandarin, whether they prefer Singapore or France. “One reason we’re still here in New York is because when we think about moving, he’s like, ‘Let’s go back to Europe,’ but I would like to go back to Asia.”
Singapore on her mind
“New York is where I really blossomed as a professional, so I’m very grateful to this city,” Melissa says. The city’s diversity made it easy for her to integrate, as did the vibrant Singaporean community who introduced her to friends from all around the world.
And yet, returning to Singapore has lately been on her mind. Her mother is ageing, the philanthropy scene in Asia is on the rise, and it might be a great new environment for the children.
During visits to Singapore, her older daughter would marvel at the city’s cleanliness and how smoothly everything runs. Melissa doesn’t get worried if the girls happen to be running around out of sight. In New York, her eyes never leave them.
“I think Singapore is even more beautiful now, in terms of the landscape and infrastructure, compared to when I left 20 years ago,” she muses. “Every year I go back, the mature trees and flourishing blooms make the city feel even more welcoming.”
About Melissa
Melissa is the director of individual giving at the Guttmacher Institute in New York. She was previously the director of institutional giving at the Museum of Chinese in America, and has taught at John Jay College, Baruch College and the School of Visual Arts.
Connect with her here.
